The Wind Carries Whispers of Truth in Our Lives
by bolshakobia
Summary: A skilled Legilimens he was, though there were things that not even the cleverest wizard could keep out of his lonely thoughts on a night like this. Snape's POV. Harry's 6th year & Marauder's time. SnapexLily. Memory is original. Reviews are loved.


**The Wind Carries Whispers of Truth in Our Lives**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, which should be blatantly obvious. The magical world is created by JK Rowling.**

**So, I haven't written a fanfic in a while, so I thought why not do a short one-shot on one of my favorite characters, Snape! :D**

_Summary:_

_It was the way he gripped his wrist, unconsciously yet, aware at the same time. It was the way his eyes burned and his throat ached to hold back a single tear as he used all of his Legilimency powers to repel the forbidden thoughts. It was how peculiar it was, that he could still remember the sound of her voice, clear as day, as though she was whispering softly to him at that very moment. It was the doe's silvery wisp that could slip straight through his fingers, just as she had. A skilled Legilimens he was, though there were things that not even the cleverest wizard could keep out of his lonely thoughts on a night like this._

The window is unsealed, leaving a meager bit of space between the enchanted glass and stone. The night is cold and windy, winter snowflakes have fallen to the ground. I'm too engulfed in my rueful thoughts to so much as lazily flicker my wand to shut the window. I can feel the hair on my skin stand and I feel prickling underneath my robes as it gets colder still. I look up into the night. The stars and the moon are so bright in the sky, but nothing above could compare to her shine.

When my long hair is disheveled amongst my forehead and I can't see out of both eyes, I take the wand at last and the window shuts as I think the incantation.

With another swish, the flames in the fireplace rise up brilliantly and start to dance on the logs. It was kind of Dumbledore to lend me his office, even kinder not to ask any questions and let me wallow in my own misery.

Here, my thoughts are as undisturbed as they will ever be. Here, I am free to think the thoughts that I am forced to block out.

I whip around to face the pensieve and am forced with a ghastly sight in Dumbledore's mirror. The face looking back at me is pale and slightly sunken. A frown looks permanently fixed upon my face and my eyes are dark and dreary, slightly twinkling with the shadows of my demons and regrets.

I look in the giant bowl and see the silvery liquid floating around, mindlessly stirring it and staring into the depths of the container.

My entire being feels numb, and I can't seem to focus my eyes back into the cozy room as they wander about the glistening stars. I'm out of it today, and I know it. It's been a rough day, what with Draco being so arrogant and immature. I wish I could stop him. Stop him from making my mistakes, and destroying himself like I have done.

The moving image of Lily's flowing red hair in the wind, tears rolling silently down her emerald eyes as she walks away snaps me out of my trance and an icy feeling sweeps over me as I start to tremble before I clear that certain memory away.

Not tonight.

_You deserve to suffer._ The evil voice in my head says. _You deserve this. ALL of this._

I can shut out everyone's prying mind but my own.

_Watch it. Relive it. See you curse at her. See that pain in her sad eyes all over again. You know you deserve it. _

"Argh!" I cry in defeat as I forcefully punch the recollections. They stir, but stay still in the pensieve, and I'm grateful they don't go flying around.

A happier memory surfaces to the top, showing me and Lily by the lake, conversing and laughing at one another.

It's one I haven't visited in a while, so I decide to dive in.

The sun looks blistering hot but I don't feel it. I watch, unnoticed by anyone, the scene unravel in front of me. For what seems like the thousandth time, I yearn to yell out a warning to my teenage self. But there's nothing I can do, and that has to be the worst part of this. Try as I may to redeem myself, I cannot change the past.

The lake sparkles from the rays of the sun, and I catch the eye of the giant squid lurking on the other side.

As I move in closer, I begin to hear the conversation between me and Lily.

"Sev, how do you do it?" she pleads with him, smiling.

"Do what?" he questions in surprise.

"You know. You're too great at potions! I don't think you've ever failed to impress Slughorn yet," she says admirably.

He looks at her, stunned, and then starts to chuckle.

"Me? Lil, you're the one he always raves about! Lily Potter, smart and courageous! One of the best potion makers he's ever seen. You're absolutely brilliant, Lily."

I see her blush the tiniest bit and for a few moments she avoids his eyes, and I begin to wonder what that could have meant.

She sighs, "Sev, the only reason I'm so great at Potions is because you look over my shoulder and I beg you to help me! And I always read whatever you scribble in between the margins of your books. I'm absolutely dreadful whenever you're not there!"

Now it's his turn to blush and laugh nervously.

"I dunno, I guess I just have a knack for it is all," he utters.

I watch as we both sit, contemplating what to say to break the awkward silence.

I gaze at her as she flutters her eyelids more than usual and starts to play with her hair. I can tell she's lost in thought until she snaps out of it and says,

"So, you really think I'm brilliant?"

"Course," he responds, not even attempting to hide a grin.

They fall back into the silence, but it's not awkward anymore as Lily starts to study her notes and he pretends to, his eyes dashing from the parchment to her visage, with a look of the utmost longing in his black eyes.

The peaceful, unstirred silence seems to go on for hours, until, like the crack of a whip, Potter's voice rings out.

"Hey Evans!" he shouts with a smirk. He strides over to them, followed by an equally pompous Sirius Black trailing behind him. Remus seems to contemplate whether to follow or not, and ends up trekking off to the other side of the Whomping Willow, not wanting to get in the middle of things. Peter runs after the two 'Marauders', his chest heaving when he finally reaches a halt by the tree.

"Oh, what a delight! Snivelly is here too," remarks Sirius, beaming.

"Left enough grease marks on that tree, Snivelly?" says James, and they begin to chortle.

I haven't realized until now, but my fists are clenched tight and my knuckles are as pale as snow.

The younger me wears the same expression of loathing, and I can see him resisting to whip out his wand. Used to the cruel taunting, he only embarrassingly scoots away from the tree and continues to glare at our enemies.

"Why don't you shove that snitch you're always so keen to show off with somewhere those wings won't flutter anymore, James," spits Lily, also glaring at him with a look of disgust.

Sirius can't help but chuckle, but quickly shuts his mouth as he sees the look on dumbfounded James's face. He isn't exactly one to be speechless.

Peter, now oblivious to his surroundings, is giggling so much that tears are streaming from his eyes and it takes him a hard slap in the face by Sirius for him to finally get a grip on himself.

James shoots one more nasty look at the young me, and walks away, the bounce in his step now gone.

Sirius and Peter do the same, still chuckling to themselves, as they both agree that James needs to get his head deflated once in a while.

I'm smiling now, as I hear Lily criticizing James, and a number of swear words that she only uses in dire situations stream out of her mouth.

He nods and smiles, never once leading his gaze anywhere but her eyes.

I miss this so much. Sunny days on the grounds, a time when she wasn't head over heels in love with Potter. Surely those days weren't simple, but they had meaning. I felt alive, whole, in her presence. I'm drifting back into reality, back into Dumbledore's office. I miss everything; the talks, the smiles, absolutely everything about her. And what I miss the most, was being something in her eyes.

**Note: The scene with adult Snape is set in Harry's 6****th**** year at Hogwarts, a bit after Slughorn's Christmas party. The one with him as a teen is in their fifth year, before O.W.L.S.**

**Reviews are spiffy. You should try writing one. xD**


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